loving life and living it

The heart remembers all special moments...........

2010-02-12T04:15:00.000-08:00

'The heart remembers all special moments when goodness made a difference.
May the goodness you share with others return to you in countless ways.'
This message strikes my heart and my soul...yes, our heart remembers
good memories and gives you a nice feeling to look back sometimes. Wishing
that it will go back, but unfortunately not., that's why there is also an
expression saying... 'enjoy the moment', which I love to say to my friends too.

This Valentine's day, it would be different compared in the past, last year
I was travelling from L.A., back here in Germany, all by myself. Now, I have
someone to look and share the moment. Thanks God! I know how it is to be most
of the time alone, sometimes it is horrible and lonely. Well, as Mum always tell
there is no such thing as perfect-partner., everyone has it's own negative and positive sides...just think of the 'right minus wrong'...the easiest way to be happy.

Old songs reminds us of the good memories and with whom you once with and referred
the song. And when you are in love, it seems that each words means a lot to you and
you end up staring the wall and smiling...I like that feeling, it uplift my soul and
I feel happy somehow. Being too far from my homeland, I have learned a lot in this world to make and appreciate little things that makes me happy. Like saying, 'expect the unexpected'.

ah..I have send few people valentine card thru emails..because I feel they touched
my heart in some ways...and one is really my 'love of my life'.

Wishing everyone who reads my blog, a Happy Valentine weekend! enjoy the moment.

'In sickness and in health, 'till death do us part..'

2010-01-15T04:01:00.000-08:00

Today, I got a mobile call from a girlfriend who is right now recuperating from recent operation of both breast operation. Last April, she was diagonized of breast-cancer and so she had the first operation, had nine sessions of chemo-theraphy then weeks before Christmas of last year something happened in the other side of the breast which the physicians decided to remove both breast., My girlfriend is few years younger than me, and she got two daughters. She told me today, she have been married for the past 20 years...but she never feel the concern and care of her partner. In a way, I pity her relating her sadness with her situation. She told me, I am still lucky in a way, that I know that I am alone in my life right now, rather than you know you have a husband who do not care for you how you feel each day when you wake up. Absolutely I was so speechless listening to her somehow I pity her and in the other half, I am thankful that my health condition is much better than her, I still have both breast and the stage of the tumor was early. At this moment, I am very thankful to God, as
in Desiderata says, 'If you compare yourself to others, you may be vain and bitter, for there is always greater or lesser than yourself.'This is absolutely true.

Come to think of it, my girlfriend have a good realty-business in the Philippines
and same here in Germany, but money is not all. Money can not buy your health.
So, I just advised her to continue reading the book I lend her and have faith.
One day, there will always be a brighter tomorrow. Just giving my friend the courage
and fighting-spirit to go on and live happily inspite of what is going on.

My personal opinion, why men forget the lines when they get married, 'In sickness and in health, till death do us part'... is it difficult to understand? Or because
the longer the togetherness the love and caring for each other vanish.
Honestly, I pity my friend, I know how it was to undergo several operations and those terrible theraphy those were not just flu and colds...this is the time we really need someone who we can lean on and care for us and giving me a helping hand.
This is the handsome groom plays the special role of being married to a sick wife.
As often as I hear several similar stories, I really don't know if it is worth to marry the second time around, perhaps I just stay the way I am now.

'Am I the scone and cup of tea of your life?'

2009-12-04T07:51:00.000-08:00

I do not know how I should relate this story to everyone of you. But sharing my experiences gives me a good feeling like one of my accomplishments in my life. For I believe one day, when I am old grandma and having my cup of tea at the balcony while waiting for my grandchildren to visit me, I can always look-back and read all these good memories I did. It will always be a part of my past.

Uhm....I just don't know where I stand on this fellow, we've been so close good friend now almost seven years, but still we share our sentiments and feelings to each other, thou we too have our ups and downs. Lately, we communicate as often as he can find time, and I even brought him the idea to chat with me during his office-hours., which he did discreetly. And we both seems to enjoy, just getting in touch during the day, asking how is everyone at each ends. There were nights, we would chatted for a long time and talking about silly things in life., but always there are those sweet words and moments we wanted to recall and laugh about it.

Just lately, we started having new agenda everytime I am just around in Cologne city,
and visiting friends, it become now a routine to take a monday-breakfast-appointment.
Only to see each other and share sometime and having breakfast together. Isn't it
such a lovely time to be with? I've asked million times why I can forget this fellow, same question was asked to him, he answered me as simple as; 'you are the only person in this world I feel you can understand me when I am down and lost, and with you I can release all my stress in my job and still there for me to hold on.'
I was speechless then. We both are honest to each other, we both have our main 'squeeze' at the moment. For him a platonic-friend., uhm...he got a difficult time convincing me that there are no hanky-panky on this., oh well., if there are, better I do not know it., he knew I am quite jealous, which he avoid to discuss with me.

Last night, we've chatted again and he mentioned some words that confused me the whole day, today.... Sometime, I am thinking what my close cousin told me last year,
'just stay foot, one day, he will just offer you to marry him, will you do that?'
oh, I am puzzled and getting excited thou.

Next time, we chat I will ask him, Am I the scone and cup of tea of your life?

' Fish&Chips of my life...'

2009-10-15T08:41:00.000-07:00

I met my 'fish & chips' winter of 2002, 13th of January, one sunday afternoon while having a cup of tea with my girlfriend in Irish-Pub in Köln city., He came to watch football but keep on looking at our nook., till he approached me when my girlfriend went to powder her nose. He offered me for another cup of tea., I said, 'no, thanks! I have enough.' Then, he introduced himself and joined us. The first thing came up to my mind, he is just a tourist from Australia, because of his accent. I did not know he have been living here for couple of years. My girlfriend's date came and met us., then we decided to take our dinner, my 'fish-chips' asked if he can join us too., so why not., So, we walked across the pub is an Italian restaurant, so we had dinner, I can still remember we had spagetti that night.,oh and I had a glass of wine. This night, we exchanged mobile-numbers to keep in touch. And on my way home, he send me a caring message to 'take care and hope to see you again...', made me smile. Few days after I got messages asking me what I am doing on 18th of january which is friday, inviting me for dinner for he celebrated his birthday with his friends., then dinner-out-with-me.,
So, I was quiet curious, nothing to lose, why not, try for a dinner-out...so we met in Holiday Inn Köln at 6:00p.m., nice feeling, getting excited and all those mix-feelings. So I bought him a key-chain as my birthday present. Then, we decided to have Spanish-dinner in Flamenco Restaurant along Aachner-strasse. It was so cozy and lead to a romantic dinner. The night was still young, so we decided to have more drinks in Latin-american-bar down the road, and have my pina-colada. Talked a lot.
Then, he brought me home, along the way, the song...'something stupid' by Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman was played in his car. That was our first-date., he is such a gentleman.

The big C

2009-10-12T08:31:00.000-07:00

Month of November 2007, I was diagnosed of breast-cancer. I was a few days before I travel to US.

So, I have to cancelled my trip and schedule for operation., so I stayed in the hospital for 20 days., had operations twice, removed the tumor., but the result of the second-operation was negative..then started my chemo on 15 of December., it was horrible moment of my life, and totally alone not even my son was there to give me warm-hand to say that operation was successfully over. I just had good nice girlfriends. Inspite, of my lonely days in the hospital, there are a lot of mobile-messages I received almost everyday from some special people in my life., unfornately, we both are in the hospital too., we just communicate thru telephone and handy calls.
The moment I hear him at the other side., I feel little bit better.

My Mum came on February 17, 2008..to take care of me..a helping hand. Mum stayed till my last chemo-therapy, (April 28; Mum went home). It was a great help for me,
she cooks what I wishes to eat after few days of suffering the side-effect of chemo., I used to asked her to cook 'Arroz caldo', with lemon, it gives a new appetite. I would like to thank my loving sister for sending Mum here, for she can not have a longer vacation only to take care of me, she need to work. It took me 38 days to finish my radiation therapy, almost everyday except weekend., then the final
control was Octber 21., and everything came out good., I was so happy this day! I started packing up my luggage for three months holiday in America.

With all my prayers, to extend my stay and a bit longer time to stay on earth was heard. For those who are having the same situation like me, I would advise to be
more closer to God, be optimistic, keep on reading books to give you moral-support.
And fight, don't give up. I almost gave-up on my second chemo, I thought it was my
last days...I felt so helpless and so weak. But with my fighting-spirit and faith in God, I am still here, New Me!

The Travel Bug

2009-10-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

February of 2005 I joined a tour to Prague, new place and cultures. I frequently visited my sister in California, and cousins in Michigan and Arizona.

Through this travelling, had chance to meet someone nice, someone you can have a cup of tea during those lonely times in L.A., till now we keep in touch., so sad he lives in south of France, but he travels too often, right now he is in Manila, Philippines, for business. He invited me when I visit Manila one of this days, to have a cup of coffee at his new Condo at the Fort, Makati, Phils., how I really wish I can just travel that soon.

My Friend – the Snake

2009-10-12T08:27:00.000-07:00

I met a woman with her daughter during the time Jens and I were strolling-around in the city of Büxtehude, Germany (north-part of Hamburg) and we became good friends for about a year, till I found out she got a relationship with my better-half.

My world was shaken, I lost a lot of weight, I could not sleep , nor eat, all I knew was I was always crying. I never thought it will also happened to me., for I even trusted her so much., and even invited on my 40th birthday celebration in Champ-Elyees, Paris, France... (Brazilian-buffet-dinner), we travelled all together to France. This philandering stage of my hubby lasted till 2002 till I decided to see my lawyer.

These was the beginning of my agony-in-the-new-bought-house., perhaps I can understand if I was replaced to a younger lady, single, without a child from another man, and not a 'friend' of mine. That really hurts me so much. Time heal all wounds.

At this moment of my life, I have to be far and forget than to be near and remember. So I moved here in Herford city (up-north) about 3 hours drive from my former-place., new place, new friends, and new excitements.

First three years, Jens was with me till he finished his grade school. But he is often sick and crying as well, for it was not easy for him about the new situation. Jens suffered so much., if I am not mistaken, till now he feels lost and depressed.

My “Life”… my Jens

2009-10-12T08:24:00.000-07:00

August 12, 1994 ; 1:55 a.m. Jens-Christopher was born., My husband and my sister were with my the whole time I was having my labor till the Gyn decided to have caesarian-operation, while I lost the 'frucht-wasser' (amniotic fluid) . In few minutes, Jens-C came to the world...my first phrase I said was...'welcome to the world'..my sis can not forget that..., sometimes, she made jokes out of it.

My son Jens was baptized on my birthday, October 1, 1994., with lunch-buffet reception...a lot of food. My sister was one of the godmothers of Jens and few cousins in Michigan. Then sister went back home for she wanted to work, she was fresh-graduate of Bachelor of Science in Psychology and wanted to shape up her career. It was too sad for me., but having my baby, I tried to give my time and love to my family.

My better-half was really a great partner at the time and good father to my son., we often travel together specially when he got some conferences out-of-town, or whenever he have projects somewhere in Germany., we were always part of it. Jens started attending his kindergarden, enjoying those craft-works with other mothers, and afternoon-sport activities., tennis game, karate, swimming course, then as he grows old he love to play football (soccer in US)., till now. There was a year when went to my home-country for three months holiday with Jens., to see again his Grandma and aunt and uncle too., and we were suprisely-visited by my hubby., Jens can not believe that, he was so happy to see his 'papa' at granny's gate. Those were the happy days.

Jens started his school-grade., that was the time, my hubby was having a project in Hamburg for Airbus company., sometime of 2000, after our millinuim celebration in Paris, France., then my hubby would suggest to take the first-class train from Köln to Hamburg and he will meet us there for few days break for us and join him there. It was such an experience.

The Knight in Shining Armor… or so I thought

2009-10-12T08:21:00.000-07:00

Summer of 1990, I met someone I used to love... huh! Our first-date was a trip in Luxembourg, we had ice-cream, it was hot-summer day, with our friends Cristy and Peter., (they were the one who introduced me to him)

We got married after a year of getting to know each other. We went to my home-country for 7 weeks honeymoon in the famous Boracay Island. Then we stopped for a few days in Bangkok, Thailand; then went back to our love-nest in Cologne city.

On our first wedding-anniversary, he gave me four-weeks trip to New York City, visiting
my relatives, (Mum's side) spending Christmas in Tenesse, Chattanoga. then back to Connecticut. and spend our first New Year on the plane going back to Germany.

My better-half loves to drive specially when I have visitors., for him driving from
Köln to Paris is absolutely nothing. I appreciated it. When Mum was with us the first time, we drove to Paris for a week holiday, visited Baneaux Apparition in Belguim. Tour her around the neighbouring-city like Monschau., Mum enjoyed.

There was a year when we were twice in the US, summer and then christmas...We were
stranded by a strong-strom in Chicago, Hilton Hotel going back to Germany. I can still remember those happy moments with him.

Those travelling....going to Lucerne, Switzerland, Austria, was just our spring-holiday., just the two of us.

When I turned forty-years old, he gave me two-round-trip-ticket to San Francisco with hotel accomodation for me and my son.Aside from dinner-for-six-persons in Champ-Elysee in Paris, France.

He showed me the world!

My Sister… my Friend

2009-10-12T08:16:00.000-07:00

In the Fall of 1993… I got pregnant.

It was so difficult for me during the first three months. I was having all those typical signs of pregnant woman... morning sickness, picky with the food. I was thankful when my sister came to visit us and stayed till my son was born. It was Christmas time when she came.

My sister and I had such a wonderful time together, and during springtime, my “then” loving husband took a holiday from work to bring us around.

We went to South of Germany, Lindau, Mainau. We had breakfast in Steinberger Hotel in Lindau then crossed Switzerland (Zurich part) then Obersdorf, and Austria.... our pictorial-diary said it all.

August 12, 1994, Jens-Christopher came to the world. He was born in Evangelish Hospital Lindenthal Cologne city. Caesarian-operation in the middle-of-the-night, and my husband and my sister was with me the whole time. Jens-C stayed few days in University hospital because he got some skin problems when he was born, because I lost my water during my labor-time. His dad visited him almost everyday to feed him thru bottles. Then he joined me in the hospital where I was and stayed for about 2 weeks. Then we went home with a welcome balloon organized by my hubby and sister.

Jens was baptized on my birthday of 1994, and my sister was one of the godmother. We had big party and a lot of food, catered by German-party-service.
The sad part, when my sister left on the 16 October for Manila again and start shaping up her career.

On Meeting the Queen

2009-10-12T08:13:00.000-07:00

I got a job with British Embassy in Bonn and enjoyed my time with my British/Scottish workmates.

During my working days there, I had the chance to meet the Queen of England, as State Visit to Germany, as part of the embassy-staff, we received personalized invitation from Buckingham Palace for breakfast in Petersburg House Guest, Königswinter Germany.

I felt so proud of it, and for me this was a once-in-lifetime experience. I framed this invitation and hanged it on my foyer of my flat, so my grandchildren will see it in the future.

Life is what we make it......

2009-10-11T11:33:00.000-07:00

'Life is what we make it...' as my dad used to tell us when we were still young.

My name is Jennifer Theresa B. Gavar, friends calls me 'jennie'., I relocated here in Germany in the year of 1987...I was just27 yrs. old and scouting for greener pastures, looking for better life and new love life... In my single days... I started travelling visiting my friend in Paris, experiencing 'Bastille Fete', and birthday of my girlfriend... it was so nice and exciting experiences for me to be here, though I had difficulties in adjusting from lifestyle, language barrier and cultures... but as time goes on I've learned and willing to learn, integrate myself in the Deutsche-Leute (german-people), for me to easily adapt and practice the new language for me.